RobArt Penguin

Daily writing prompt

How have your political views changed over time?

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One of the images that has always terrified me, is the idea of facing a black abyss, where, when I call or look out, nothing comes back, a true unknown, a true void. And it’s not the fear a monster will coming flying out of the blackness and attack me, because in a way that is something better. A black space with a monster hiding in it, is not an true abyss or void. Since we are born we depend on reflections to develop a sense of self. An abyss has nothing. Calling out and getting nothing back is unnerving, a test whether I have a strong sense of self that can withstand zero feedback. When I published my books, I called out to the world in a way. I promoted myself, not knowing how much impact I made, or if any. I just created a separate web page for my book (escapefromdesolation.com) and will continue to work on it, but I have no sense whether it will make an impact. So far, I’m not receiving anything back. Even my friends have stopped responding to my updates. It’s an abyss. This is something I didn’t anticipate with publishing, the need for feedback, maybe it’s the need for praise, a form of approval seeking. When I was a kid, I was often left alone. My own thoughts were my only company. I yearned for feedback from the family, that is, a reflection that established my existence. In the present, I suppose it’s the reflection I want when I seek broad feedback for my books. Realistically, the thousands of books released every day are an abyss in themselves. I may never stand out, but I will continue to call out on the edge, hoping that what flies out of the darkness is a sweet movie deal. I’m being glib, but it’s my way of not taking myself too seriously.